


think about the life you'll have, together

by kokiche



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Pearl is Pearl, Unrequited Love, based on the theory that Rose is gem royalty, fragmented storytelling, vague mentions of war and death and injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-04 23:29:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4157043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kokiche/pseuds/kokiche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life after the war, or what Pearl wanted out of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	think about the life you'll have, together

**Author's Note:**

> written monday when sworn to the sword aired, not beta'd or edited because i wanna post this before stevenbomb kills off my gay ass  
> inspired by the song lyric from do it for him (her), it's even up in the title.  
> again, pearl is Pearl so pay heed to the tags, theres references to various injuries (burns, impalement etc) and war and death, etc.  
> w/o further ado, here it is.

A list of things that Pearl ~~has done~~ would do for Rose Diamond:

1) ~~Learn to wield a sword~~

2) ~~Charge into battle~~

3) ~~Protect the earth, simple life forms, humans and flora~~

4)  ~~Take a stab through the heart~~

5) Take a stab through the forehead 

 

* * *

 

 

There is something that Pearl sees, in the flash of white and streaks of heat when she has taken too much wounds and retreats back into her gem, and that is:

She is sitting on a patch of land and her knees are streaked with mud. It is a meadow, and the green of the trees envelop the blue of the sky instead of the other way around.

In this vision Rose sits across from her, her hands flitting across a blackened bramble. Everywhere she touches it, green floods in and buds spring out. The branches frame the light in such a way that it feels like the sun itself reaches down to caress the two.

They had probably talked beforehand, of making fountains and sanctuaries here, healing the nature devastated by the war, but right now it is just silence. Vaguely, Pearl can hear the wind and the rustle of leaves, but the only sound in her head is chimes. They chink softly through her mind and color the meadow into a soft rosy thing. The rays of the sun stroke Rose’s shoulders and push back her curls from her face.

Suddenly, Rose raises her head and laughs. Pearl does not know why, but she guesses it's the simple peace of the moment, the happiness when someone has everything they care about right in front of them. Rose's eyes crinkle up, and open slowly, slowly, slowly. There are no wrinkles or cuts on her forehead, no scars in her eyes. Her mouth eases into a smile, and Rose is looking at her with a warmth that could physically touch her, and with that Pearl forgets about the dirt streaks on her knees and how they look like lacerations but aren’t; because Rose is looking at her with a smile intended for _her_ , and there’s no place that either of them would rather be.

 

* * *

 

 

“You can’t keep doing this, Pearl,” she says. Her voice sounds in Pearl like a slow pull over violin strings, melodious, melting into her, but the words rip at her flesh. (Their bodies may be an illusion, but that does not mean that they do not feel pain.)

“And why can’t I?” says Pearl. “You’re the commander of our forces. You’re the most important person on the battlefield. Who’s going to lead us if you’re gone? Who’s going to make our battle strategies and handle the divisions of gems? Morale will plummet, our forces will utterly collapse if I don’t protect you! Do you want us to lose the war?”

Rose does not look away. “That’s not why you’re doing it, though, is it,” she says.

Pearl goes quiet.

“Pearl,” sighs Rose, and if that doesn’t burn - her name in Rose’s mouth, in such a breath, full of something fragile and breakable - _and how can Rose Diamond, the strongest, the sharpest and most enduring, be so very vulnerable, how can Pearl abstain from_ protecting _her_ \- “You need to stop doing this. It’s not safe for you.”

“War isn’t supposed to be safe,” says Pearl.

“That’s not the point, Pearl. I don’t want you doing this. Will you not respect my wishes at least, if you won't do this for yourself?”

Pearl bites down on her tongue and her anger. Countless bruises and burns and impalements, hundreds of times retreating into her gem when she cannot take her injuries (their bodies may be an illusion but that does not mean they do not feel p a i n) and still, Rose’s stare hurts more.

“Everything I do is for you,” she says finally, and her voice breaks, trails off into a whisper halfway, and it's _pathetic_.

“I know,” says Rose.

 

* * *

 

 

Time does not have an end but the war does, apparently.

Petals burst and flowers blossom everywhere the Crystal Gems step. Humans develop slowly, slowly, like the crawl of a galaxy across space they invent new technologies. Every time the four of them decide to re-enter human societies, humans are still eons behind Gem magic and technologies.

Rose has playthings, besides her bushes and brambles and vines. These are humans she likes, ones she leaves in barely half of a century when they have aged and crumpled up into a ball of flesh and bones. She smiles at them and touches their soul like a flame, but she always comes back to the Crystal Gems, where Pearl waits at her favorite blooming tree. Pearl cannot be dissatisfied with this.

There is no meadow where Pearl can forget how her legs are getting striped with mud.The chimes in her head play a discordant melody whenever she hears them. The sun always stretches to run its rays through Rose’s hair, but Pearl can not and does not do the same. (But Pearl cannot be dissatisfied with this.)

There is no secret moment in a secret place where the trees circle the sky and the earth seems bigger than the sun, even though Pearl knows otherwise. There is no secret smile just for _her_ , no gentle laughter intended for her ears only. There is no life together after the war, no RoseandPearl, but just life after the war, just Rose and just Pearl.

 

* * *

 

 

Life after the war is this:

1) A handful of shattered gems and colored dust.

2) An eternity of rebuilding and protecting and subduing and bubbling.

3) A man with a guitar and blood under his flesh who steals away what Pearl never had in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!


End file.
